Thursday, March 27, 2008

How to Face Problems in Life?


Sometimes, we welcome problems. But during other times we try really hard to avoid them. But aren't we constantly looking for ways to better face them? here's something to read:


Tired of a life of struggle, a young woman sought her mother's advice. She told her how things were so hard for her and how she was unable to cope with problems. Her mother took her to the kitchen and filled three pots with water. In the first, she put carrots, in the second, she put eggs and in the last, she placed coffee beans. She let them boil without saying a word. Twenty minutes later, she turned off the burners and asked her daughter, "What do you see?"


"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the daughter replied. The mother drew her closer and told her to feel the carrots. She did and saw that they were soft. She was then asked to take an egg and break it. On shelling, the daughter found a hard-boiled egg. Finally, she was asked to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.Perplexed, she asked, "What's your point, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity -boiling water - but each had reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting, but soon turned soft and weak. The egg, when put to the test, had hardened. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. They had changed the texture of the water and filled it with their aroma. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When problems knock on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"


There is much to learn from that fable. Which one are you? Are you the carrot that seems strong, but wilts in the face of pain and adversity? Are you the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but hardens when in adversity? Or, are you like the coffee bean, which actually changes the water, the very circumstance that brings the pain, by its fragrance and flavour. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level? There lies the secret to solving problems and handling adversity.


Problems are part and parcel of life. But as they say, where there's a will there's a way. For every problem, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it.


The most natural course of action is to evade the problem or just wish it away, but problems, like cancers, usually stay around and spread. So, it's better to confront the situation before it becomes an emergency.


The real problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. When you accept problems, you also learn to have a contingency plan. For instance, when you know there is a danger of fire, you keep extinguishers handy. The important thing to remember about conflicts is that they happen all the time and they are actually opportunities disguised as problems. They provide us with better ways to fix what needs to be fixed and improve what needs to be improved.


And since most problems are man-made, solutions are within our reach. There are two reasons why we tend to see a problem as a problem: the fact that it has to be solved; and our apprehension about the outcome of the solution.


Here are some tips that will help when the going gets tough:


Move On - As Ford said, "Don't find fault, find a remedy. Focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer. Don't just panic as `worry is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but won't get you anywhere." Learn to think `how' rather than waste time with futile "ifs".


Understand the Problem - Problem solving is the ability to make careful choices. The steps to be followed are: understand the problem; gather the facts; set up the problem; estimate what the outcome should be; work it out; and check the answer. Ask questions, clarify facts and evaluate options to find a workable solution. That's the formula.


Think straight - In problem solving, it is important to have the right mindset. It helps to be open-minded and have the ability to think out-of-the-box. When you have broader vision and unique ideas, you have more tools at your disposal which helps fix the problem better.


Say it with a smile - A prerequisite in any situation in life is the ability to laugh in the face of problems. It really downsizes the enormity of the problem. A sense of humour maintains a sense of balance as it prevents people from collapsing with grief and worry. Humour is more than just being funny; it helps keep things in perspective.


Teamwork - Two minds are better than one. It does help to have more people involved in solving a problem, both for moral support and for the greater range of experience that they can bring to the problem-solving table with their outlook and personality. It adds depth to the troubleshooting team. As Voltaire said, `No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking.'


Brainstorm - When it comes to problem solving, ten ideas are better than one. Each idea is worth considering, as the most unlikely one might just be the answer. Resist the temptation to find quick short-term solutions. It tries to put the solution at the beginning of the process, when what is needed is a solution at the end. People have an inborn trait to solve problems if they only just take the time to grasp the situation without panicking.


Write it all down - Keep a record of what is going on. It helps in future problem solving when you have it all in black and white. During a crisis, your memory banks can be scarcely relied upon.


One for all and all for one - This is a critical step that is usually missing. Interests are needs that you want satisfied by a given solution. The best solution is the one that serves everyone's interests. This is the time for active listening. Forget your differences for a while and listen.


Learn from past mistakes - One must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them. Learning from problems is growth in the right direction.


Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles; they toughen and make you strong. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Maybe you don't feel all that brave and strong, but just the act of confronting a problem head-on is a step in the right direction.


The original article is by Salma Aliakbar and is here.

54 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:25 PM

    This is just a wonderful document. Thanks a lot..


    Saji Jose

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  2. Anonymous12:47 PM

    this really opened a litle light in a really big prblem.
    i would like to congratulate

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  3. Beautiful words, very inspirational and heart Touching..Really a perfect piece of Motivation...thank you..!!!

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  4. Good one. life should keep going as it comes.. When a person os low this is the perfect article to read and you have to keep moving.. life is short make it intresting

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  5. Anonymous4:43 AM

    Thank you so much. Its so inspiring. I really need something like that in these moments!
    Thank you!

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  6. I was looking for anm articles I wrote and came across this feedback. It was a pleasant surprise as I didnt know my articles were being used in blogs too...thanks for the appreciation.

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  7. wow ! its was very nice . got an idea to read people in front of us .

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  8. this is easy to undrstand formula i like this very much

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  9. Anonymous7:45 PM

    THANKS MAN IT IS A GOOD ADVISE. THANKS LOT.

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  10. very good statement i have ever seen

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  11. Umesh2:10 AM

    The blog is really good...everything you have mentioned is true to its core...

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  12. thanks very much, awesome you n your thoughts!!!

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  13. Anonymous11:34 PM

    thank you to the one who wrote that,,


    its a big help to everyone who encounter problems

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  14. Anonymous10:12 PM

    yes, it will be helpful for everyone who is facing bundles of problems in their life like me

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  15. Anonymous12:13 PM

    sub bakwas hai,,,

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  16. its help me to think broadly without panicing....its very helpful to me...thankyou.

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  17. Very Good!This article is of great help as it has changed my way of facing my problems.Many Thanks to the Author.

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  18. Anonymous3:43 AM

    hmmm gud one.....but don wanna read fully....

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  19. superb.. mindblowing,amazing,very helpful loved it

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  20. amazing n very helpful!!! it gave me some hope!!!thanks!!!!

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  21. Its an amazing article which i have came across all in my life.thnks alot

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  22. Anonymous10:09 PM

    This is really an inspirational piece - saved it, worth re-reading! And with the grace of God I can implement some of what is written here...

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  23. SINDHUJA8:06 AM

    A VERY INSPIRING MESSAGE.LIFE HAS BOTH HAPPINESS AND DIFFICULTIES.I WAS IN A SITUATION THAT I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FACE THEM BOLDLY IN SUCH A TIME I CAME ACROSS THIS ARTICLE WHICH GAVE ME SELFCONFIDENCE.

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  24. Problems are not problems in my life anymore...

    Thank you....

    R.Haresh.

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  25. good one.. loveed it.. let us welcomes troubles wit smiles.... s.!

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  26. really awesome :) thanks for sharing

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  27. swathi:
    very nice exanple i too want to become a coffee but problems making me as strong as bioled egg what to do?

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  28. Really fantastic lines thankyou dear poster by kamalakannan TCS

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  29. Anonymous9:39 AM

    really good tips to avoid depression from worries. in fact, your words make me to think smaller of my problem. may you have greater days always. warm regards.
    Kalai

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  30. Anonymous1:06 AM

    Hi ! This Is Javid Here! From chennai st thomas mount. I am Just 19 yrs old From 4th standard till my college days ... I am Smiling with the surroundings, but it really Pains for me a lot to live a life without parents, Only my Grand Mother is taking Care Of me , Meanwhile in Between i met with the fire Accident, Now I am Recovered totally And Working In A BPO ... I know I Will have to Face Some more Problems ...Your Examples Of Coffee , Carrot And Egg Gives Me The Motivation... I know I will Become the Egg With Coffee Aroma Any Comments You wants to Tell Me Can Mail Me to javid_rules123@yahoo.com..Pray 4 Me Readers, Bye.

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    Replies
    1. Mr. Javid don't worry for any thing just face the problems and be helpful for others then automatically you won't feel any worries in your life you will be always happy... i will pray for you

      Delete
  31. really its inspiring.....thank god for showing tis article to me...i got something out of it....thanks a lot...

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  32. well said very inspiring..!!! really motivational post...keep posting...!!

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  33. Anonymous12:51 AM

    very wise,,,

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  34. Anonymous5:11 PM

    nice one :))

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  35. nice,iam sure that it works on me

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  36. Anonymous5:23 AM

    Thanks for your article.
    I thnk it is useful and really cheer me up.Thanks :]

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  37. thank you... =)

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  38. vasanthiattur4:15 AM

    It's lighten my heart. It gives new way to face problems.

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  39. I felt some change in my confidence level after reading this post. Thanks you very much

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  40. Anonymous3:05 PM

    I think i'm ok with to solve any kind of situation from now. Thanks for the advice

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  41. Anonymous10:50 PM

    Its realy very meaningfull and encouraging article on life , give very bright point of view towards life problems

    Very Thanks you!
    monali

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  42. Anonymous12:33 PM

    Thanks a lot to you who has posted this article...Actually this article has gaved me very usefull tips as well as increase my confidence level at this critical situation of my life... Thanks Again to you..Awesome article..Thanks...Thanks.....

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  43. Anonymous10:44 PM

    good one & very inspirational.

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  44. all lines in this document is valuable....now onwards i followed it....

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  45. Problem's will come on our life we have to face that problem that is life we will not get anything easily in our life with out hard work, suppose if we get that easily means it will not be permanent in our life...

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  46. exellent words thank u so much

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  47. exellent words to become feel free who are in facing the problems and feeling worry about thier life

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  48. How to live without fear and worry by Venerable Dr K Dhammananda really helped me to console myself in difficult times in my life.hope you people will feel the same way after his discourse.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S37oRAFW_lg&list=PL75AC5BFB3DDD4CB8

    before divorce or suicide read this book WHY WORRY by Dr K Dhammananda
    meditation also very helpful

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  49. Life and problems. They are two elements that cannot be separated with any means. Solutions for problems in life? There are a lot. But they aren't generally available. You have to search for them. Maybe a day, maybe a month, maybe an entire life. But you must never give up.

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    Replies
    1. Let me try to Resolve it !! through ths methds!!

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  50. Great article!

    Successful people revisit and change their strategy whenever they encounter ‘failure’. They understand that overcoming obstacles is part of road to success. Understand this principle and you will overcome failure and achieve success in no time at all.

    Thanks again!

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